Sometimes I find it hard to control myself. I’m facing so much temptations, chances, and opportunities. But I can’t handle all of them that well.. sometimes. And when I failed, I just feel like it’s impossible to get up. It’s really hard, and I feel so much guilt wandering inside my mind because of my stupidity and failure. I didn’t manage to handle all of the chances I got, I didn’t make it to gain trust for myself through so much opportunities ..
It’s frustrating sometimes. Well, more than just frustrating. I keep on doing the same mistakes – and I don’t seem to improve.. I feel so stupid! Why do I keep on falling inside the same hole? Am I even more stupid than a donkey (that doesn’t fall into the same hole twice) ? argh
I wanna change, I wanna improve. I can’t keep on living like this. I’ve promised myself to improve and change! And this is (so) not the result that I want. I wanna change, but I can’t (and don’t) control myself..
I feel soooo stupid. *sobs* have you ever feel like this too? When you wanna change but it just feel like the most-impossible-thing-that-ever-exist-in-the-world? Well, if you’ve felt so.. then we’re inside the same boat.
I feel down – really down. And I feel guilty. I’ve done the same mistake, not only twice, but even thousand times!! I failed, so many times .. *sobs, again* then I remembered the Robinson’s motto (from Disney’s Meet the Robinsons) ;
“keep moving forward”
And so, I tried to pull myself together. Even thou the guilt is still wandering around, I wanna act as if it was a motivation to be better than before. I wanna try, for once more, to trust myself and try again. I wanna live this life to the fullest, and I HAVE to start now, not later or tomorrow.
I once more make a promise to myself and to the LORD, that I won’t do the same mistake again. I wanna use this second
or maybe more chance to keep that promise.
Will you do the same? Or are you a coward that stops trying and lets itself falling to the deepest hole ever? I think even a coyote
or even chicken would respect you more if you stand up and tries once more.. and when you have a commitment, everything’s okay.
Don’t forget, there’s GOD to help you when you fall. HE will help you, no matter what. So hang on to Him, and I believe you’ll be okay.. God Bless Us in our commitments..
Meet The RObinson’s OST – Little Wonders (by Rob Thomas)