I feel like I’ve been asking for too many things lately. Seriously, I felt like I received so much gifts I didn’t worth to have. Well, this is the example ;
I was asked if I want to take a part in a choir for a Christmas concert. A kind of offer that I usually reject. But that time.. strangely.. I accepted the offer. The ‘coach’ is an artist whom I’ve never heard about before. So it’s just a concert that popped out of nowhere to in front of my eyes.. And you know what?
BANG!! Surprise~! It’s actually a HUGE (he-yuuuu-jeh) charity concert, which even the highest people from government were taking parts in it. I’ve never imagine this kind of chance I’ll receive. It’s so scary that I’m afraid I don’t belong there. ME? An amateur? In such a huge concert? Seriously. .
I never imagined it before – that I’ll be able to stand and sing in front of so many great people.. and my every actions are going to be counted for charity! This is a dream that I’ve never believed would come true..! and I still can’t believe it.
Meeting so many people – from so many different backgrounds..
Meeting so many people – with greater talents ..
I feel like a little kid receiving a Porsche as a Christmas gift. I felt that way, for real. This feels like receiving a kind of luxury I can never imagine to afford.. but God gave it to me .. for free!?
And now, I feel afraid. What if I mess everything up? What if I’m not trying hard enough? I’m scared. What if I’m not competent and not capable enough to accomplish this?
And what makes matters worse – the real problem is – I feel like I’ve been asking too much.
In the first days of this year.. I made some wishes.. That in the end of the year, I’m gonna achieve some things ;
I’m gonna meet and greet someone famous.. awesomely ticked. (the artist we were talking about before – he is actually a famous guy.. someone who has reached Broadway, .. well~!)
I’m gonna receive scholarship money .. BOLD tick. (in the first weeks of my school year, an envelope came from my school’s administration – a letter about scholarship!!)
Becoming a singer .. frighteningly ticked. (taking a part in a Christmas charity concert!? Gosh..!!!)
I’m gonna start my career, my life, my own passion, this year .. ticked! (being an artist – devoting my life only for God!)
God works in a way that I’ve never thought of before.. and He gave me so much.. so much, too much.. for someone like me, an ass like me. He’s been so good all year, all day, all time, and all I can do for Him is nothing. I can’t stop asking for more.. and more.. and more.. without realizing how good He has been.. and will always be. It’s wonderful to watch all of the things He has done. And I’m not going to forget it. I’m gonna give all of my life – cause He’s been so good ..!!
Israel Houghton – I Am Not Forgotten