I’m a Sunday school teacher, and I deal with kids. I’ve met various kinds of children, and sometimes I call them as ‘bad kids’. Or ‘naughty kids’. Well.. If you’ve faced or had a deal with kids, I’m sure you’re quite familiar with the little things we call as ‘bad kids’.
We think they are bad. But are they really ‘bad’? Let’s see.
One day, I faced this case:
A boy was angry in my class. He didn’t want to share his toys with this friend, and after some quarrels, he hit his friend.
What I (and maybe some of us) usually say to those kind of kids are..
“BAD BOY! Stop it!”
“Hitting others is not good! You should behave!”
“You should always share your toys!”
“He’s your friend, stop it!”
“You should behave!”
These are the expressions I ‘normally’ or ‘usually’ say. But then..
This time, I decided to ask the boy what actually happened.
So he explained it to me.
He likes his toy so much, and the friend who wanted to borrow it can easily break things, especially toys. He didn’t let his friend play with his toy because he didn’t want his toy to break just like the toys he had before.
Just then, I realized. Is protecting his toy included as ‘bad’..? well, it’s true that we can’t agree with the way that boy acted by hitting his friend, but have I – or we – ever gave some time to understand the boy’s reason?
After some thoughts, I see that this whole time, the one who’s ‘BAD’ and ‘WRONG’ is not the boy, or any children. But it’s me.
I judge him and say that he’s wrong and bad instead or teaching him how to express his disagreement! Think about it. Are saying and judging that our kids or the children are wrong changing anything? My apology, but no! it changes nothing.
Now isn’t it better if we know and understand the children and give them solutions rather than telling them they’re bad?
Not only little kids – children of any age, even teenagers sometimes drives us crazy by their crazy actions. But what we should’ve done is not judging them nor telling them that they’re naughty and bad, but we evaluate, we discuss it with them and gave them proper disciplinary actions and also solutions – helps – so at the end they learn something – they change.
The problem is.. sometimes we’re ashamed to confess OR we don’t know that we’ve been doing wrong. We yell at them without giving them solutions. We blame them even when we don’t understand their motivations, their reasons. Well now I know and I’m going to tell you that nothing’s going to change if you keep complaining without any solution or complaining without even knowing what you’re complaining about!
So .. are there bad kids, bad boys or girls, bad teenagers? Well, after these thoughts.. I think there’s actually no such thing called as bad kids. They’re just kids that I – we – haven’t understand and help yet.
Now I know that I’ve been doing something really wrong, and I think the world’s going to be better if I change the way I treat these children.
I have no right to tell you if you’ve been doing wrong or not,. But if you think you need to, are you willing to change too? 🙂