I hate myself when I think about this, but this thought need to get out so it won’t kill me inside.
In our country, (well, when I said ‘country’ I mean my part of community.. I guess.) not so many people enjoy reading. I mean, they do enjoy reading, but reading is.. a hobby that people laugh at. They don’t put that much appreciation in books. Well maybe some of us do appreciate books, but in the part where I am living.. not so much.
And that’s why I hate it. I feel like living in another world. Like I don’t share the same world they’re living at. Even those who loves reading books.. there are really little chances they’ll love the same kinds or genres that I enjoy.
Sometimes, even, when I’m trying to enjoy myself by reading, they mock me. Not really ‘mocking’ .. but still.
Well actually this fact never really annoy me that much. Everyone has their own thing, right? some loves sport, some loves fashion, some loves movies, some loves art, .. some love books. So.. no problem. That’s just a part of a world called community. I can take that.Even though it’s sometimes annoying when people seem to look down on me because I read like I breath, I still understand.
But when it comes to the time when I need to share things I got in my head.. gosh. This is more annoying.
As a human, I know I need to share. And I know I can’t do it properly when it comes to things I read. I can’t really share them cause.. who on earth would listen? nobody cares about my books in my community! so, alright. I think I need to find another place. Somewhere else. And my answer (and only answer).. is through the internet. There are hundreds, thousands, millions, billions.. so many people in the internet that would jump up and down in excitement when it comes to sharing books they’ve read or books people have read before. So internet becomes my one and only destination.
OKAY.I made my other blog, http://itdoesexists.wordpress.com/ to be the place I run to when it comes to sharing the books I’ve read and my own imagination – stories I made, inspiring things. And not to mention this blog, a blog where I run into when I need to share my thoughts.
But it doesn’t help. I want to share my head to REAL people. People that would actually give me reactions, people I could interact with. Not just myself and my computer.
I know the problem lies on me if my blog got so little views. I know it’s my fault when my reviews are not that interesting.
hhh. I don’t know. I feel annoyed. But I just can’t help myself.
These are the times when I feel like, my whole hobby of writing and reading is truly stupid. WHO WILL ACTUALLY READ MY STUFFS? who’ll actually understand when I’m talking about fairies, warriors, magic, dragons, land of dreams, monsters,boarding schools, half-blood people, vampires, The lion, The witch and The wardrobe, Olympus, Lorien, Attolia, ‘hunger games‘ .. when all of them only exist in books and stories?
I feel stupid sometimes, by knowing that I live with such things. I enjoy reading and writing too much. And sometimes, at times like this.. I feel stupid knowing it. Just for now, though. I hope.
I know I still got lots of time to be more successful and better. I know I should learn more. I know I still got the chance to be better and learn more.
But I think I’m just.. feeling annoyed right now and just want to let my brain be calmer. At least now I can promise to you I’ll write better and work harder. I’m just feeling lonely right now, just the way a teenager might feel.
Excuse me for being young and strange. lol. Happy reading and writing, everyone.