Selfless

bunga indah - KRB edited

I stumbled across this post by Phil about his mother just now. (Back to You.) Been a fan of his since my high school days, btw.

This post about moms are actually something that I could relate to. My mom is a woman that never lets her ego or needs stands before our needs. She’s the one who’d voluntarily say “I don’t really feel like eating those” when there’s not much good food left for the rest of the family, so we won’t feel bad about eating them.

I could always see her hesitating when she wants to fulfill her needs, because she puts everyone’s needs on top of hers, always. She never asked for nice dresses, shoes, or fancy stuffs.. She never asked for anything, even when she’s young.

She told me about her younger days, how she and her family struggled, and how she tries her best not to be a burden for my grandparents, and always pushes away all her ‘unnecessary’ needs.

And I actually witnessed on my childhood days, how my family struggled and how she, once again, pushed all of her needs so we could survive.

It’s a beautiful life. A beautiful story indeed.

But at the same time, it’s actually something that bothers my mind.. because I don’t know if that’s right.

I know that as we all grow older, our lives would not be about ourselves anymore. I’m no longer living for myself. I’ll be living for others, because only then, I’d fulfill my life purpose. Cause what would my life be, if not for sharing?

But still. At times, I still question this as well. Does pushing away all your needs and wishes really are necessary? Should I become someone like my mom, who is nothing but selfless?

Will I be happy about that?

Maybe if it is the right thing to do, I would no longer ask questions about myself, right..

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