A few months ago, on my frustrating semester break, I asked google what I should do to know what exactly my passion is and what should I do with my life.
How can anyone tell what’s their life’s passion? How do you know what’s right for you?
Strange enough though, the answer that I keep finding is that you can never tell. You can never find your passion.
But, they say, you can try and work on things.
Try everything that you can try. Everything that’s laid on the plate before you, try them.
Because passion comes not from searching for one, but from action.
Aaaand yeah. That’s what they said.
But trying out new things are CRAZY HARD!
Someone even wrote this : One thing guaranteed is that working on this, well, things WILL be uncomfortable.
It will be hard, uncertain, so damn difficult, and above all, embarrassing.
Hello! I have always had problems with confidence, and to embarrass myself is the first item on my list of “not-to-do” things and on the top of my “please-avoid-for-goodness-sake” list!
And you say, I have to be that way to achieve what I call as ‘knowing your passion’?
Well. Welcome to the jungle, then.
As much as I don’t like the idea of getting out of my shell, I realised that I’d hate myself more if I end up being safe AND wasting my time not getting anything. So I decided, let’s give it a shot. No, shots.
I am going to do as much uncomfortable-uncertain-difficult-embarrassing things as possible and I am going to see where it goes.
I decided to start speaking up and discuss ideas with people I usually avoid. And just in a month, voila, we decided to create an extracurricular club.
I requested to present a paper on the killer doctor’s class, end up working my ass off and reading so damn much, and getting A++ on my presentation and got invited to discuss over a research on the relevant areas.
I raised my hand on a workshop to let the coach evaluate (and humiliate) me in front of other attendants over my public speaking ability. Right after, I managed to have a really productive conversation about graduate studies with a used-to-be-terrifying acquaintance. Weeks after, I managed to approach senior citizens and get them to talk to me, notice me, and even discuss matters with me. I got connected to amazing people because of it.
I realised how things started to change when I decided to ignore the fear of discomfort and embarrassment. Through such trials I also realised how I am starting to learn much more when I am willing to leave my warm, comfy corner and roam through unfamiliar places.
It is rough, it is uncomfortable, it is uncertain, it is difficult, it is so damn embarrassing, but the experience and insights I received after was definitely worth the risks.
I suppose it is actually the ability to be okay of being not okay that determines how much you’d excel, and finally find your place in this world.
What about trying it our yourself? 🙂